G'day After G'day
- Jackie Endres
- Feb 21, 2020
- 14 min read
Rolling into Australia after four months in Asia was a bit of an adjustment. Instead of giants, we felt like Lilliputians. We could read the signs. I had to stop myself from bowing idiotically after service transactions. That said, while we missed a lot of Asia, we relished our time America. Er, Australia.
That’s right, I said it. Australia is pretty much America. There are nuances to the culture that deserve attention, but for the most part, it felt a lot like America. Which was good for us, because after four months without much that felt like home, we were able to catch our breath. We did hot yoga and worked out at Orange Theory Fitness. We got our hair done. We drank coffee and found hidden bars. It felt a lot like the U.S.
Except for the times it didn’t. Which, when it didn’t, it didn’t. Which was awesome and worth blogging about.
Melbourne & Fitzroy
The Suburbs
We surprised ourselves when we discovered that the Airbnb we secured in Melbourne in a hip district is in fact in a suburb. But we quickly learned that living in the suburbs here is nothing like living in the suburbs of the U.S.
In fact, suburbs here are more like neighborhoods. We stayed in Fitzroy, which feels a bit like the Alberta arts district of Portland. Hip, lined with restaurants and bars, with an arty vibe. Fitzroy is along the tram line, and just a handful of stops from the CBD (central business district). Almost all of the places you will visit in “Melbourne” are in one of the suburbs, so we quickly had to get over our distaste for suburbs and fully embrace them in Australia (though you could at times hear Heather mutter, “It’s just a neighborhood, it’s just a neighborhood.”)
We had quite a bit of fun touring greater Melbourne. We got expansive (I really mean expensive) views from the Eureka Skydeck and the Melbourne Star Observation Wheel. We ran the Tan and sauntered through the Royal Botanical Gardens and along the Yarra River. We visited a pay-what-you-want restaurant in St. Kilda, determined the beach there is pretty lame (not even as good as the Chicago beaches along Lake Michigan), and peeked inside Luna Park. We found the hidden tiki bar Jungle Boy behind an Italian deli's fridge. We ate delicious food truck donuts at the Queen Victoria Market and listened to relentless shouts of "One dollar mango!" We enjoyed laneways full of graffiti throughout the city. We got hassled and imprisoned at the Old Melbourne Gaol and watched the parade for the Lunar New Year in Chinatown. We ate delicious food in Carlton and caught up on all the Oscar movies in its local cinema and then hit a rooftop for an old classic ("We could talk or not talk forever..."). And, we found a home in Fitzroy.
And, well, I guess it is a bit different from America. We sure had fun here.
Australian Open
It just so happened that while we were staying in Melbourne, the Australian Open was going on. And, as Heather is a former tennis stud, we decided to snag (pretty great) tickets to the Quarterfinals. There, we sweat under the hot Australian sun to see the Kenin (Jabeur), Barty (Petra), and Federer (Sandgren) matches. All were great, but the most gut-wrenching was Tennys (yes, his name is Tennys and is pronounced tennis) Sandgren's loss to Federer after failing to win on seven match points.
In addition to the intense play, the highlights of the match were Kenin's win, the hometown love for Barty, and our tennis debut on TV.
Staying in a Teepee
A quintessential Australian experience is touring the Great Ocean Road, but Heather and I didn’t want to do it like everyone else. So we found this great small touring company that takes eleven strangers turned friends on a van trip from Melbourne along the coast, stopping for surf lessons, koala sightings, and vistas like the Twelve Apostles, and then sets up camp on farmland.
The views were spectacular (minus the flies), and we’ve probably never seen a prettier evening sky. But the highlight of this trip? The connection. We have ragged enough on our trip through SEA, but this little van ride made it even clearer how much that trip fell short. Our guide was an expert in getting people to open up and learn about each other. Whether it was through the non-surface questions he asked each of us in the car or the hours we spent at the campfire talking about the real moments like saving lives, moving on from spouses, shaving heads, leaving careers, and surviving heart attacks, we ended up connected with each of the group members in a way that was natural and fulfilling.
A few other awesome highlights:
Spotting dolphins twice while pulled over at viewpoints
Doing a pretty bad jumping picture under the Great Ocean Road sign
Seeing koalas, cockatoos, kangaroos, and lorikeets (not in captivity)
Making new strides on the surfboard
Driving with the van door open
Swimming in absolutely frigid waters while the air temperatures were about 110
Hair Growth
In case you forgot, I shaved my head back in September. And, as a metaphor for my own evolution on this trip, my hair has both grown quickly and also has had its awkward and ugly moments. Going into the trip, I really didn't know how long my hair would be 4.5 months in (7 cm, if you're curious). But, it got awkward pretty quick, and I surprised myself with my second mullet in a year. I've tried my best to manage and style it, but with the length getting a bit unruly, it was time to do something.
We knew that Melbourne would be the place to get our hair fixed up if we needed, but I wasn't sure what to do. Should I keep letting it grow? Should I shave it again? Should I do something in between? What about color? Keep it? Do something drastic...?
For those of you who know me, I am a pretty methodical thinker, and what to do with my hair was no exception. I found myself with new lessons of insecurity and acceptance, limitations and opportunities. And the best way to face this was to do some mind mapping. So, on the subject of hair (and others) I put my thoughts down on paper and made a decision to do something bold.
So, Heather and I went to a salon together to get our hair done. Hers looked great.
I was not happy. (Despite my face in that picture, because at that time I had been led to believe the color was going to shift from this color. It did not.)
Not feeling that yellow-orange was my color, I basically wept for an afternoon until I motivated myself to do something about it. I contacted the salon who wanted to make it right and a different stylist (Ashima from Japan. God, I love Japan so much...) fixed it in so many ways. She put in foils (the first stylist told me my hair was too short for highlights) and made the cut a lot better.
Anyway, the blonde itself has taken a hot second to get used to. But, just like I did with my shaved head, I have found new love and adoration for this. It feels "me," in ways that my long hair did, my buzzed hair did, my short growing hair growth did, and my middle-stage awkward didn't.
I know my hair will keep growing, and so this is just an impermanent look (like everything in life), so I'll enjoy it while it lasts, and look forward to the next awkward phase and subsequent motivation.
Wine Country
We so much liked the Great Ocean Road tour that we booked another with the same company through the Yarra Valley. Honestly, the guide didn’t do as good of a job connecting us (or with us), but I suppose the wine took on that role. Through rolling hills and valleys, we stopped at several places for wine, cider, and cheese, and again made new friends. Our most surprising group was four best friends who were generally from the UK who kept extending their stays in Australia with study permits so they could work. But we only found out at the end of the trip that they were all strippers. We had incredible heart-to-heart discussions with them about life, beauty, what it’s really like to be a stripper (is it like Hustlers?), plastic surgery, and the fluidity (or not) of sexuality. We also met an American couple on their honeymoon and a New Zealand woman who married a Canadian, but who has all the tips for our next leg of this adventure (blackwater rafting, here we come!). The wine overall was good but no better than some of the places we visited on the West Coast like the Willamette Valley or Sonoma. The Syder, however, was worth bringing home.
Icing on the Sister
In our final week in Australia, our next visitor arrived—my sister, Angela. And like any good hosts, we gave her a welcome gift of short-sheeting her bed, hiding an adult toy in her belongings, and giving her an icing.
But, like bad pranksters, we bought a four-pack and she got each of us back. Mine was hidden under my pillow so when I was mid-twilight and moved my pillow, I had a sleepy-time ice. Well played, Ang. Well played.
Hulk Smash
As you can imagine, a long trip of this nature requires a lot of patience. And sometimes, it’s hard to find an appropriate outlet for all that patience we’ve been practicing. But in Melbourne, there’s the perfect one: enter, The Break Room. Here, we were given a baseball bat and a sledge hammer, a bin of glass, a printer, protective wear, and a concrete room, and went crazy breaking things.
It was fun, therapeutic, and sweaty. We also gave the attendant a playlist of our choice before entering the room which helped really set the mood. (Immigrant Song, obviously.)
Sydney
Angela only got one day in Melbourne before we flew to Sydney, and so early the morning after her arrival, we boarded our Jetstar flight and hit the rival city. (In our mind, Sydney won the battle, but only if you don’t include Phillip Island in Melbourne).
Bin Chickens
We only had a few days in Sydney so we crammed them full. We kicked off our first day with a walking tour and a bird in a bar.
We also learned about the native Ibis bird, which the Aussies affectionately call “bin chicken” because they are everywhere and can root through the trash. We thought It looked majestic.
After the tour, we were peckish and needed some food, so we headed nearby to the Glebe market and grabbed some lunch. And then, our whole view of the Ibis changed. I simultaneously felt a drop on my head, and watched as Heather’s outstretched hand turned green. First curiosity, then realization, then horror. “Oh my god, oh my god.” Turns out, Heather got the worst of it, and not just on her hand. Her hat was covered so much that we had to throw it away (thank god for the hat, though).
Can I Board Your Boat?
In a classic Heather move, she found us all a unique way to view the city: two-person motorboats. Heather drove her own (among the three of us, she is the best driver), and Angela and I shared a boat. We enjoyed views of the Harbor Bridge, Sydney Opera House, rich folks' $100M homes, and we got up close and personal to a few things:
Some stairs I ran into
A boat Angela seemed to want to board
One rich woman’s boat who, while sunning herself, literally held her nose and shooed us away with the other hand
And the return dock
It was so thrilling that I didn’t even mind the continued corrective instruction from our German leader.
Opera Gardens
We didn’t have enough of the Opera house though, and on two separate occasions came back, once in a run and once just walking around and getting the requisite jumping picture (that took multiple attempts).
The Opera House is close to the Botanical Gardens, which is an expansive green space in the city that has lush vegetation, avian friends, and plenty of water. The water also houses eels -- not that are placed there by the Gardens. In fact, the ponds are drained frequently and eel babies slither across the grass from the harbor and make their way to the ponds. They then eat baby ducklings (among other things) while ducks eat baby eels (among other things). I guess that's fair.
And in another surprise, while walking back to our Airbnb from the Sydney Opera House photoshoot and botanical gardens saunter, we came upon thousands of bats (flying foxes) returning to the trees. Our first experience with them was in Melbourne along the Yarra River, but with the backdrop of these Sydney spooky trees and gothic buildings, it felt like part of a horror flick.
Oh, and we saw another ibis.
Ice Creams
This isn’t an event per se, but my favorite cultural difference. Arriving in Australia, we were taken aback to see a lot of ice cream consumption. Not just on the street. No. Ice cream cones are sold at the movie theatre, comedy club, football matches, and Broadway-type shows (we went to Come From Away with the matinee crowd, who were all on their actual retirements and doing it right with an ice cream cone in hand). And here, ice cream is too good to be singular. It is “ice creams.”
At the Aussie Rules women’s match, apparently they had run out of ice cream and it was a real treat to hear the women behind me shocked at the thought.
“They’re all out of ice creams?”
“What?”
“Yeah, they’ve got no ice creams here.”
“No ice creams?”
“No ice creams.”
“Bill, you hear this? No ice creams!”
“No ice creams…?”
… And so on.
So, while wandering through Newtown in Sydney, we made it a point to find some ice creams of our own.
Beach Time
One thing Melbourne can’t compete with Sydney on is the beach (recall aforementioned St. Kilda beach). And when we got to Sydney, we saw what an Australian urban beach could be. Surfers, swimmers, relaxers, snorkelers. And we wanted to be part of that last group.
Stingrays populated the ocean floor. Tropical fish fluttered everywhere. And we took in sightings of blue and green groper, a baby barracuda, a leopard shark, a flathead fish, sea urchin, and snails.
After snorkeling, we warmed up in the sand before walking through the beachy vibes of the coastal town.
We spent our last day in Sydney cruising Newtown, finding some vintage gems, enjoying some good Australian food, and prepping for our early flight back to Melbourne.
Phillip Island
After a quick morning flight from Sydney, we landed back in Melbourne, secured our rental, and drove straight to Phillip Island.
Rain Run
Our first stop was to hike the coast from Cape Woolamai to the Pinnacles. It was on and off pouring rain, so we didn’t hike. We ran. In a thrilling hustle dodging lightning, we had the trail to ourselves and got to see rare isolated views of dark skies and angry seas. And in some moments, the spastic sky parted and we were briefly dry.
Koala Reserve
After our hike, we hit the Koala Reserve. We are really careful about where we spend our money with respect to animal experiences. We try to avoid anything that has forced interaction with humans (riding, feeding, holding, petting), or where conditions are poor (cages, leashes, etc.). For this reason, we had to forgo quite a few of the sanctuaries that exist in Australia since many allow hand feeding of animals like kangaroos and wallabies as well as holding and posing with animals like koalas. That said, we did our research and found this Koala Reserve, which doesn't allow interaction or selfies, and creates space for the animals in their own habitat.
Walking through the trees, we were able to see about a dozen sleeping and clinging koalas and the rain kept relatively quiet with very few other tourists.
Seeing the koalas wasn’t the only excitement though. About 15 minutes through our trek, we looked out into the landscape and saw… wallabies! Everyone was so excited that we were whisper shouting (quiet for the koalas) and bouncing up and down. We stood there for a while taking in the three or so wallabies that visited our view.
When we were done with the koala portion of the reserve, Angela and I decided to hike the trail through the rest as more wildlife can be sighted. I said, “It would really make my day if I saw an echidna.” An echidna is a native Australian egg-laying mammal that looks like a mix between a porcupine and an anteater. And within one minute, to the left of me, I saw one rooting around in the brush. Now I was jumping. Unfortunately, I didn't get a good picture of it (this time) because it was in the brush, but you believe me, right?
Fur Seals
Psyche! I bet you thought we saw fur seals. We thought we would too. But... because of weather, boats out to seal rocks were canceled. And, related, our snorkeling tour the next day with wild dolphins, fur seals, and sea dragons was also canceled. So... no seals.
But, we still visited the Nobbies Point, where the fur seals sightings begin and were rewarded with fantastic views. Amber and ecru succulents cover the hilltops, waves crash into the rocks, and we even sighted a couple of surprise penguins (video).
Penguin Parade
Speaking of penguins... one of the biggest draws to Phillip Island is the penguin parade, where viewers can watch the tiny flightless birds return from swimming and fishing all day to their dens. Photographs weren't allowed, but the video above shows the type of penguin. We felt we had a bit of unluck because there was a thunderstorm that rolled through so we were blocked from heading out earlier to see them. However, we got to enjoy a Koala ale, and by the time we went out, there were plenty of penguins. What's more, we also spotted the very rare in the wild bandicoot (there are less than 200 in the wild) and, once the clouds cleared the stars were phenomenal. Angela pointed this out and the three of us gazed upward just in time to catch a glimpse of a shooting star together. It was a moment that we weren't too cool to appreciate, and we embraced in a three-way hug and each silently made our wishes before sharing how special that moment was for each of us.
Mornington Peninsula
The following afternoon, we made one final stop before returning home. Though our snorkeling off of Mornington Peninsula was canceled, we still went to that spot and were again rewarded with an undisturbed dramatic vista, and more wildlife spotting (echidna, fox, and turtle). We hiked for a bit, gathered our adventurous spirits, stripped to our underwear, and leaped into a very chilly natural pool (with very chilly air).
Afterward, we drove a little further along the peninsula, stopping a couple more times to just make sure we couldn't spot any wild dolphins for Angela before our final destination: Highfields. This path in the Mornington Peninsula National Park is a bit lesser-known, but after cruising for top kangaroo spots, I uncovered a blog that highly recommended it. Well, again, the three of us pulled up without any other visitors and began our trek.
But it wasn't more than a minute or two until Heather pointed out the first kangaroo spotting in the distance. (I know, our last days in Australia and the first real kangaroo sightings...). We walked toward that spot and realized quickly that there were kangaroos everywhere. We looked left and right and up the hills and we could see kangaroos in nearly every direction. So, we found a place to squat and just watch.
After the kangaroos, we had to head back to Melbourne and just had one day left to fit some final Melbournian things in before our early flight Saturday to New Zealand (and Angela's back to Milwaukee... tears).
The Best of the Rest
As will happen any time we spend a month in a place and I refuse to write more than one blog, there is a lot that transpired that is just tough to fit into a tidy blog post. Here, then, is the best of the Aussie rest.
Art night with Haring and Basquiat and hanging out with Nikki, Heather’s friend from the way back machine, Glens Falls, New York
Basking in the beauty of the Victoria State Library, our trip planning haven
Women’s Australian Rules Football
Playing Heads Up with accents
Our Sydney Airbnb nighttime fire alarms that left us walking 19 floors twice in one night to evacuate due to a faulty alarm system
Discovering thrift shopping gems in Newtown
Celebrating Valentine's Day together
Watching 1917 at the largest IMAX in the world
Watching fireworks from our Sydney Airbnb that had the best open-air balcony
The 1000 Step Kokoda hike in the Dandenongs
Front row seats at the comedy club for prime American shaming
Getting the world's best cup of coffee at Patricia's
Learning there is a flavor in Australia called "Golden Gaytime" which is basically how I'm living
Conveyor belt sushi
Trying all the Aussie snacks like TimTams, Vegemite, Arnott's, Victoria Bitter, a Lamington, and Cadbury Cherry Ripe
The Berlin Bar and the ever-so-creepy Croft Institute
Reuniting with my friend Monica whom I met while hiking Mt. Kilimanjaro in 2014. She reminded me that at the end of our trip I said, "You're super cool and a good tent-mate, but man do your feet stink."
Oh, and we struggled petting cats this month. But we tried our best.
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